The Treaty of Nuuk, Manila & Canberra

Concerning the domain JOHN.GL, the Johns of the world, and who has to bring the Tim Tams.

The High Contracting Parties: the Federal Bureau of Johns, on behalf of Johns everywhere; the Tita Intelligence Network, on behalf of whoever it likes; and the Greenland Ice Sheet, which did not attend but was saved a seat.

Recognising that a John without a John domain is a sad thing, and that Greenland has been very patient about all this, the Parties agree as follows.

1. Transfer

   The four letters J, O, H and N, when followed by .gl, pass to the Bureau for safekeeping, in perpetuity, or until the renewal fee goes up.

2. Sovereignty

   Greenland keeps everything else. Everything. The island, the ice, the fjords, the .gl itself. The Bureau is, in the strictest legal sense, renting.

3. The Manila clause

   A Juan is a John. Any Juan may visit this domain at any time and must be offered food on arrival. Refusing the food is permitted but will be discussed later.

4. The Hans clause

   Hans, Jens, Johan, Jan and Jahn all come from Johannes, and are recognised as Johns of full diplomatic standing.

   In 2022, after decades of leaving each other bottles of whisky and schnapps on a small rock in the Arctic, Canada and Denmark settled the Hans Island dispute by splitting the island in half. In that spirit, the Bureau offers any Greenlandic John half of this domain. Specifically, the "jo".

5. Compensation

   In full settlement of any claim, the Bureau will provide: one (1) balikbayan box; three (3) packets of Tim Tams; one (1) rice cooker, on loan; and an unlimited supply of sincere apologies. Delivery by sea freight. Allow four to six months.

6. Sausage sizzle provision

   At all official functions of the Bureau, the onion goes under the sausage. This is not negotiable and was never negotiable.

7. Disputes

   All disputes under this Treaty are settled by a tita. Her ruling is final. She will also ask about your love life, your job, and why you've put on weight.

8. Duration

   This Treaty renews every year, at the registrar's discretion and John's expense.